Looking at a beer menu in a restaurant,
“Can I drink this when I grow up?
My son Takeh asked me.
Lately, when he sees spicy food that only adults eat, not children, or food with ingredients that trigger his food allergies, he asks me, “Can I eat that when I grow up? I ask.
He also says things like, “When I grow up, I’m going to ride the shush-push-push-push-push-push-push-push-push.
These fresh words are very comforting to me. It is because I see dreams, hopes and possibilities in my future. No, “cured” is not the right word. Maybe I was surprised. “What? There is hope for the future! I thought.
I found myself tapping a calculator every day to see if I had enough money for retirement, or feeling my strength and memory failing, and I thought the future was bleak. But my two-year-old child has a bright future ahead of him.
I want to fulfill his healthy wish as much as possible. It is the least I can do. I don’t have much hope for my own future.
On the other hand, I try to keep a certain distance from him so as not to be too attached to him. The reason is that the age difference between him and me is 45 years, and when he grows up and goes out into the world, I will be a very old man. It is difficult for me to see the results of my efforts in raising him. And I am sure that children in their school days do not appreciate their parents’ existence at all and value playing with their friends more than their family.
To avoid disappointment in the future, I would like to avoid having excessive expectations of him.
(2023.09.30)
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